lundi 23 avril 2012

TRAUMA Prolonged disability

Horseback riding is an art.  Sure, in a Gymkhana, its a rather intense activity which blends speed and skill.  As one, your horse and you swivel and swerve through obstacles while precious seconds go by.  When jumping an obstacle course, timing and synchronization permit you to glide through the air, almost flying as you take off and land. Your skill and experience protects you from banal errors and injuries.

When your horse is green, you’ll spend countless hours training him, desensitizing him, so that he can perform under any circumstances.  Trust will derive from this precious time, trust that can’t be allotted lightly as a fall can injure you permanently when landing hard on hazardous ground.

A friend had bought this really awesome horse and wanted me to try it out on Christmas Eve one year.  You probably wonder what this has to do with it but just wait a touch!

That day, I hung my common sense by the door; I put on my snow pants instead of my chaps because it was so very cold, and went to ride the horse.

My children were bringing a Christmas tree out of the forest, singing and joking, when, suddenly, this wonderful new horse spotted them coming out of the forest, was startled by the noise and voices, spooked and took off galloping into the bush at full speed.  To avoid being impaled by the frozen branches, I crouched low, losing my balance and my grip because of the nylon snow pants and flew off, hitting the frozen ground with a crack and a thump!  A couple of fractured vertebras and a broken pelvis resulted from the accident.

Yes, I’ve mentioned parts of this story before.  However, I wish to dwell on the injury and phases of recovery in the hope of reaching out to all those who have sustained an injury that immobilized them for an extended period of time.  Despite the fact that the duration of my disability was only six months, which I’m aware is far less some, the recovery process applies to shorter or longer periods of time. Once recognize, the mental state of mind needed to overcome can be triggered and sustained.  When recovery cannot be considered, the acceptance of new limits can be the path to contentment.  

Let’s go back to my story! 

After returning home from the hospital, first, I agonized when thinking of how I’d be when I recovered.  The accident occurred the day before Christmas and I returned home some days later.  My sons and daughter carried me around in a cuddly, cushiony chair in the moments that I could sit for a while.  Thanks to their humor and encouragement, I learned to take a day at the time. 

After a few weeks, being determined to walk again, once my physician told me that I could move without injuring my spine, I started training. 

My living room turned into a mini gym.  My arms needed to become substantially stronger first to raise my body and slide into a wheel chair, later to support myself on a walker and learn to walk again.

Months went by while I scheduled myself to build resistance and muscles during a minimum of 3 hours a day.  At the three month line, I was at 5 hours a day.  By then I had reflected on the possibility of working in a wheel chair, with an adapted vehicle and had considered all my options.

My life would be different but I could do this.  Immensely supported by my family, I still remember the tears of joy experience when, like a baby, I managed my first step without support.

My daughter, standing before me, arms stretched out ready to catch me, encouraged me with < You can do it, I know you can!  > Three steps that day and exhausted, I took courage and pursued!

Six months later, against most odds, I could do most of my usual activities.  Two years later, I was back on track.  Patience, will power, determination and resilience were the key.  My family’s support was the essence of the motivation.

I remember waking up to pain, dragging myself out of bed and wishing I could just stop and go back to what is was like before the pain.  Gradually, realizing that pain equaled gain, I learned to welcome it, feeling alive and pacing myself through efforts until I reached the next goal set.  Baby steps, a walk across the kitchen, then through the living room and back.  Outside, my son, his sense of humor always lightening the mood, had named my attempts Cross-Country Expedition.  First, from the house to the car, then to the garage and back, I felt that a staircase was the Everest and learned to joke about it.  Everyday was a conquest.  Every morning was a new beginning.

When the pain finally subsided, I almost missed its spur!  Let me tell you, you can never appreciate well being and mobility enough!  In the end, nurtured by my wonderful family, I moved on.

We never get back to what we were.  Possibly, we become better, stronger and more efficient.  We are also different.  Values have become more defined, life priorities more transparent.  You discover facets of yourself you didn’t even know existed.  Vivid fears have been acknowledged, weighed and overcome.  Some limits have been surpasses.

The possibilities within the impossibilities have been explored.  You become aware of other limits, learn to live and accept them and go beyond expectation to reach your full newly discovered potential.  You change for the better, I find.

So never give up or accept to be diminished.  Go as far as you can with all the new possibilities discovered.  Embrace the change and you will soar beyond what you now dream possible.

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally
Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach, Certified Traumatologist

For details on my books:

vendredi 20 avril 2012

HOPE & RESILIENCE When the possible feels impossible

Hope, being the flickering light that gleams and brightens the dimmest paths, permitting to grasp at dreams, wholeheartedly, even when circumstances seem to alienate all positive outcome probabilities.

You’ve known, I’m sure, people who have made it beyond their dreams.  What makes them different?

Sure, you will see incredible perseverance, profound belief, skillful manifestations, outstanding courage but, the inner light of hope that propels through adversity is only ignited when resilience is present.  Resilience leads to triumph.

It glimmers through in the darkness of storms and still spikes you ahead when all wind has fallen from your sails, making you step up to the challenge even when all odds seem against you.

It pierces through gloomy thoughts, literally pushing you out of slumps, raising your stamina when you droop!  It kicks you into gear when you stammer, swooping you up when you’re down!

It may even be seen as a curse by some because it just won’t allow you to give up.  Like a little inner voice, it cheers you on even when you want to shut it down, stop and rest.   It just won’t let you give-up!

Those who are endowed with it may see it as a source of inexplicable possibilities that keep hammering alternatives to pursue their goal, energizing them, giving them the necessary drive to pursue their endeavor. 

Resilience is a strength that exponentially increases the probability of success.  In it lies Hope!
Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally
Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach, Certified Traumatologist

For details on my books:
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/infoatguidancequestdotcom

vendredi 23 mars 2012

Greek resilience The population’s quiet courage

Adversity struck Greece full force as 2012’s February pulled up.  Athens bubbled with controversy as the Greek young adults let their displeasure be known.  Their daily lives did not transpire rebellion though.  I had the opportunity to witness this during my March stay.

Standing up to the challenges with the same resilience their archeological monuments demonstrate, they stubbornly frown at the situation as the residence owners electric bills triple in an attempt to collect from those more so in means. 
Neglect of the education system has brought parents who value education to school their children privately in the evening, adding a substantial amount to current bills.  Groceries cost about the same as in Canada.  Transport, thankfully, is well organized and very affordable. 

Now, in February, the basic salary has dropped half in an attempt to rectify the situation.  Greece is largely depending on Tourism to move on to better times.  Unfortunately, at this time, the possibility of a decrease in tourism for the coming season lights a true concern.  Yet, there is no more sign of unrest than well organized demonstration to manifest the displeasure.  The police forces are present and helpful, simply chatting on the streets while observing the crowd like in most countries at rest.

Workers show-up, giving a wonderful service with a smile.  Those you engage in a conversation about the present economic situation, frown at the government inability to protect and provide worthy solutions for its citizens, seeing no end to its embarrassing decision-making.  Raising an eye-brow, they look into a distance saying that they’re wondering what it’ll do next and what will happen to them.

Their main preoccupation is that no one seems accountable at the government level and that there are no signs of a leader capable of taking the reigns.  Strong rallying leadership seeming absent, fatalism sets in, it seems.  Foreign countries’ mockery of their protective goddess mimicking their present state hurt them tremendously.  These are proud people!

Despite this gloomy picture, facing this impasse, the young people relinquish their right to joyfully meeting and living at night, discussing all and nothing, making life more enjoyable.

We were blessed with the opportunity to see a Musical at the Acropolis theater of Athens, there a full house joined in traditional songs of a musical.  Families with young children sat closely with their elders, binding forces.  There, we felt the valiancy of these people, binding together their values, steadfast, their hearts joined, ready to face whatever was thrown at them.

Their longing for resolution was felt.  Their heart beat seemed to join as the dramatically expressive play unfolded.  A yearning for hope seemed present as in most places we visited. 

They’ve seen greatness and hardships for centuries.  It’s coded in their DNA.  They’ve been close to the heavens with their monuments and mythology bearing witness to these times.  Invasions have attempted to mold them more than once!

One can feel the deep set resilience behind a dreamy air of nostalgia for these past times.  They’ve weathered harsher times and will relinquish their right to an optimistic future in a quiet way.

Outwardly, barely disturbed by the present crisis, they seemed intent to live on joyfully welcoming tourists and sharing their glorious past with the pride and fervor of those meant to carry on through time.  Leaning on these remarkable historical times, their philosophy will, I’m sure, some out victorious.

There is a definite sense of awe lingering as you adopt the dreamy look of ages.  To all these wonderful people I encountered during my stay, I wish that their resilience pays off once again.  To those who will read this, I wish you to walk in the footsteps of Socrates very soon.

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally
Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach, Certified Traumatologist

For details on my books:

mercredi 14 mars 2012

PERFECTION A myth?

Realistically, striving for perfection may somewhat be only a motivator to excel in a certain domain.  There should never be a depletion of self-worth or self-confidence when perfection has not been reached.  The human factor constantly interferes with the notion of perfection.  Whether it is a mere droplet of inconsistency, a smudge or ripple, a tremor on a calm surface, it is just enough to cause the gripping feeling of failure with your core.

<I wanted it to be just perfect> you’ll say!  Despite the imperfection, the strive for perfection has nevertheless brought you to the height of your performance, delineating the best paths to be taken, motivating practice, revision and eliminating all possible, predictable elements to reach your goal in all your splendor.

Left to life is the unpredictable.  How you react and deal with these will maintain the excellence of the outcome. 

On these moments, when you fumble, take a moment to remember all that you went through to achieve your goal and then position yourself on the incident seeming to dim the perfect result.  Size it for what it is, no more, no less and move on.  There will be times to strive for perfection again and you will have that much more experience.

When you have done all that was realistically possible, you should retain the self-satisfaction of your accomplishment and accept that you are a human being with a full life to enhance yourself and excel.

Be that as it may, striving for perfection allows you to excel.  Excellence is therefore your ultimate goal!

Realistically, striving for perfection may somewhat be only a motivator to excel in a certain domain.  There should never be a depletion of self-worth or self-confidence when perfection has not been reached.  The human factor constantly interferes with the notion of perfection.  Whether it is a mere droplet of inconsistency, a smudge or ripple, a tremor on a calm surface, it is just enough to cause the gripping feeling of failure with your core.

<I wanted it to be just perfect> you’ll say!  Despite the imperfection, the strive for perfection has nevertheless brought you to the height of your performance, delineating the best paths to be taken, motivating practice, revision and eliminating all possible, predictable elements to reach your goal in all your splendor.

Left to life is the unpredictable.  How you react and deal with these will maintain the excellence of the outcome. 

On these moments, when you fumble, take a moment to remember all that you went through to achieve your goal and then position yourself on the incident seeming to dim the perfect result.  Size it for what it is, no more, no less and move on.  There will be times to strive for perfection again and you will have that much more experience.

When you have done all that was realistically possible, you should retain the self-satisfaction of your accomplishment and accept that you are a human being with a full life to enhance yourself and excel.

Be that as it may, striving for perfection allows you to excel.  Excellence is therefore your ultimate goal!

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally
Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach, Certified Traumatologist

For details on my books:

lundi 20 février 2012

HOPE & RESILIENCE When the possible feels impossible

Hope, being the flickering light that gleams and brightens the dimmest paths, permitting to grasp at dreams, wholeheartedly, even when circumstances seem to alienate all positive outcome probabilities.

You’ve known, I’m sure, people who have made it beyond their dreams.  What makes them different?

Sure, you will see incredible perseverance, profound belief, skillful manifestations, outstanding courage but, the inner light of hope that propels through adversity is only ignited when resilience is present.  Resilience leads to triumph.

It glimmers through in the darkness of storms and still spikes you ahead when all wind has fallen from your sails, making you step up to the challenge even when all odds seem against you.

It pierces through gloomy thoughts, literally pushing you out of slumps, raising your stamina when you droop!  It kicks you into gear when you stammer, swooping you up when you’re down!

It may even be seen as a curse by some because it just won’t allow you to give up.  Like a little inner voice, it cheers you on even when you want to shut it down, stop and rest.   It just won’t let you give-up!

Those who are endowed with it may see it as a source of inexplicable possibilities that keep hammering alternatives to pursue their goal, energizing them, giving them the necessary drive to pursue their endeavor. 

Resilience is a strength that exponentially increases the probability of success.  In it lies Hope!


lundi 13 février 2012

STUCK Are you in a rut?

You’ve done all you could to move ahead and now you’re stuck!  You can’t seem to identify what the next step is.  You’ve gone ahead, step by step and there it is, the WALL!  What’s next?  You hesitate; you flounder, questioning your decision-making:

<Should you have pursued this path?  Is it worth it?  Has the time/money investment not been too great? Will there ever be benefits to reap?>

You may even wake-up at night with anxiety attacks!  <What was the goal anyways?  Why do I feel like this?>

STOP.  It’s time to assess!

Now, describe the goal you started briefly.  You even have it written down in your agenda.  Then, describe it the way you see it now.   It is important because if it is a long-term life project like planning a change of career or retirement, it may not look exactly like it did at the beginning.

Changes occur with time.  You are constantly changing, evolving and so is everything around you.  When we are very focused, we become less aware of this.

Now, let’s clarify.

First, list all that is presently bothering you.  Write every little worry, doubt, fear, or hesitation that has taken place in the last 6 weeks.  State the level of stressed caused by these on a score of 10 being the highest.  Fold your paper, hiding your score.

Second, list all that has been accomplished until now.  Access the importance of these accomplishments.  List the challenges or problems encountered and resolved.  You may even want to state the time frame for these.

Third, list what is left to be accomplished, the means and resources available, time and place necessary.

Fourth, establish a plausible deadline according to what is left to accomplish.

Fifth, return to your list of worries, doubts, and fears.  Mark each one’s stress level of anxiety on 10 again.  Then, compare to see if your stress has dropped since the list was made.  Some may have dropped considerably; others may be non-existent once seen after having reviewed the accomplishments.

It’s time for a break.  Sleep on it and continue when rested.  When you’re ready, continue.

Sixth, take up your list again and analyze realistically each worry, doubt and fear with a fresh mind.  Rate your stress level once again.

Take a break, relax.  When you’re set to move ahead, take the plunge!  It’s important for you to replenish before moving on to the last phase.

Let’s cut to the chase.

How long will it now take to reap benefits?  Define benefits.
What are the last steps?  List them.
How long do you give yourself to get there?  Set your time frame.

Allow yourself to discard what has lost its importance, what is now unnecessary to you.

What can be outright eliminated or changed to enhance the end result, the success of your endeavor.

Decide on one easy step to get going again.  Celebrate every little accomplishment.

Focus and set realistic deadlines with options.  For instance, you may set to reassess every two weeks or two months.  You may give yourself alternatives in the event that you have not managed to reach your goal within a set time limit.

Monitor yourself closely and thoroughly by keeping a journal and read your accomplishments regularly.  

Now, you’re set to move on.  Remember, this process may need to be done a number of times throughout a project.  Just keep in mind that you can reach your goal and you will!


lundi 6 février 2012

INJUSTICE Children being used as pawns

The insanity lying behind self-serving individuals using a child as a pawn, when proclaiming in all self-righteousness that much is owed for willingly choosing to have this child, bewilders me!

Insidiously demeaning the absent parent, attacking his/her credibility, the children are used as a financial bargaining chip.  Lies are slammed against the absent without remorse.  Blinded by rage, slander proliferates.

One has to wonder what these children will come to think under such appalling circumstances.  Hopefully, they will be spared in the dual of wits, the insults and manipulative actions taken.

In the name of protection, stability and security, the children may be isolated.  Beyond the bitterness, moments of joy and happiness may gleam brightly, shedding a warm glow on the days to come as the children grow.

In time, these children may see that there was more than what met the eye.  Beyond the blistering scalding, the points taken, individual parents struggled, often in secret, to spare those children the ill fortune life thundered upon them.

In time, these children may well come to realize that there are always two sides to each coin.  A story well told may gloss over the truth for a time.  Fortunately, the tides of life tend to uncover what lies beneath.

In time, the truth will be known.  Their mind will lead them to explore; their heart will help them listen and weigh the odds.  Never despair!  When the children are no longer children, they will see the truth on their own terms.  Hopefully, they will also be wiser with their own children.

Parents, always keep a line of communication open even if it’s hurtful and difficult.  That does not mean subjecting yourself to the badgering of the other parent.  Know when to back off and distance yourself.  There is no gain in endless fighting.   Ameliorate yourself as much as you can. That is possible and worthy of your effort.

You are a parent.  Despite the circumstances, this can never be taken from you.  Even if you cannot be actively involved now does not mean that you won’t be in the future.  Remember that you have many other roles which may benefit from your determination to improve and be all that you can be.   Be happy, be successful, and take pride in what you accomplish.  Some day, the opportunity to actively be a great parent will present itself. Then you will step-up and take that shared responsibility gleefully.

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally
Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach, Certified Traumatologist

For details on my books: