The insanity lying behind self-serving individuals using a child as a pawn, when proclaiming in all self-righteousness that much is owed for willingly choosing to have this child, bewilders me!
Insidiously demeaning the absent parent, attacking his/her credibility, the children are used as a financial bargaining chip. Lies are slammed against the absent without remorse. Blinded by rage, slander proliferates.
One has to wonder what these children will come to think under such appalling circumstances. Hopefully, they will be spared in the dual of wits, the insults and manipulative actions taken.
In the name of protection, stability and security, the children may be isolated. Beyond the bitterness, moments of joy and happiness may gleam brightly, shedding a warm glow on the days to come as the children grow.
In time, these children may see that there was more than what met the eye. Beyond the blistering scalding, the points taken, individual parents struggled, often in secret, to spare those children the ill fortune life thundered upon them.
In time, these children may well come to realize that there are always two sides to each coin. A story well told may gloss over the truth for a time. Fortunately, the tides of life tend to uncover what lies beneath.
In time, the truth will be known. Their mind will lead them to explore; their heart will help them listen and weigh the odds. Never despair! When the children are no longer children, they will see the truth on their own terms. Hopefully, they will also be wiser with their own children.
Parents, always keep a line of communication open even if it’s hurtful and difficult. That does not mean subjecting yourself to the badgering of the other parent. Know when to back off and distance yourself. There is no gain in endless fighting. Ameliorate yourself as much as you can. That is possible and worthy of your effort.
You are a parent. Despite the circumstances, this can never be taken from you. Even if you cannot be actively involved now does not mean that you won’t be in the future. Remember that you have many other roles which may benefit from your determination to improve and be all that you can be. Be happy, be successful, and take pride in what you accomplish. Some day, the opportunity to actively be a great parent will present itself. Then you will step-up and take that shared responsibility gleefully.
Have a nice week. Happy Trails,
Elizabeth McNally
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