GRIEF Shadows of the departed

We feel their presence in minute instances, remember their smile and laugh vibrantly, even when our eyes water at their loss.

It is those moments that will forever remain.  It is the sense of their presence that has impacted our lives and been determining factors in our growth or our life transitions.

The more intuitive may even reconnect through dreams, alleviating the pain by finding solace in this seemingly real presence.

Years later, moments will still bring soothing recollections and fleeting tears that soon turn into smile as you realize that your memory has immortalized your loved one.

Does it fill the gap? No, it doesn’t! 

It’s more like a promise!  A promise that what is meaningful remains eternal.

Should you overly dwell on it?  No.  Why?  Because life is there to live, learn and grow.  Look at nature.  Its constant renewal should inspire you!

When you’re ready and move on to letting life reclaim you, you honor the departed.  While life is present, it is our duty to live it well and fully.  In this way, we may also be brought to leave fond memories and live on forever in the heart and minds of those we have touched with kindness and compassion.

Leadership Transparency engaging Motivation

A leader should be transparent and his/her integrity should be evident.  This is a challenge because when in accuracy emerges from a Leader’s mouth, the trust in his/her ability to lead dwindles.

Therefore, a Leader needs to be detail-oriented.  Notes taken on projects, detailed methodology suggested as to how his staff is expected to pursue their goals, clear expectations, consistent pertinent feedback to employees after individual meetings.

‘Details!’ You’ll exclaim!  ‘I barely have time to complete what I need to do!  It is time consuming AND time is a commodity, I can’t spare!’

Well, the trust in your leadership enhances the productivity.  Time wasted at clarifying your intentions or expectations will be diminished as well.

So yes! Your Leadership may well depend on transparency at one time or another.

Regardless of your presumed lack of time to proceed with a test on the subject, just try it.

During a meeting, for example, employees feel more so listened to when you take notes of what they’re commenting and are asked for clarifications which you also note.  They then feel an integral part of your decision making and provide insight you may well be astonished with.  It promotes creativity and innovation as well.

Leadership is tedious and it’s a lonely place up there!  If you want to stay on top of things, in a good way, try meeting staff individually on a regular basis and apply the above.

It’ll also foster a connection that will, in turn, allow staff to become more open, more involved and engaged in the company’s growth.  A personally given comment on a suggestion will go a long way!  Motivation will thrive and you will harvest the benefits!

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally

Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach

http://guidancequest.com

info@guidancequest.com

For details on my books:

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/infoatguidancequestdotcom

Comment on my Blog:

http://guidancequestcom-eliprofesseure.blogspot.com/

WHAT STUDENTS NEED TO KNOW PART II

WHAT ELSE DO STUDENTS NEED TO KNOW?

Final article of this serie for Teachers ONLY 

They need to know you genuinely care.  So hear their concerns; Tune into their feelings; Show you really care with your actions.

They need to know you walk your talk meaning if you say it, you do it.

They need a daily dose of HOPE and HUMOUR.  I know you have it in you!  Try anecdotes and laugh with them.  They’ll love it and connect.

They need to see flexibility.  HOW?  Say things like <Your way or My way>, whichever gets you to the goal.  Just make sure you do everything.

They need to see open-mindedness.  HOW?  Say things like < Your ideas are probably as good as mine>.  If I have any qualms or any objections, I’ll explain why this cannot be done in this particular case.

They need to see real attentiveness.  HOW?  Say things like < I’ll listen to you, hear you out, weigh your suggested alternatives and I’ll get back to you.  AND let them vent individually when necessary.

Warning! Sometimes, they need to vent in group.  If so, bring in a neutral observer as a witness.  When too many students are disgruntled in a group, the atmosphere can become poisonous and explosive.

If you have a chaotic group situation, you need one or two observers and a facilitator so that things stay CLEAR and CALM.  This way, they can vent but so can the teacher.  In the end, both, the teacher and the students can reach an

agreement.   When it’s done well and both parties commit to improve or change , they can move ahead positively.

Mediation is always an excellent option to explore!  Read all you can on Mediation.  Get training in it if you can.  It will be the most useful tool you’ll ever invest in as a Teacher! 

Little Wisdoms

1. Impose only when you have exhausted all other alternatives.  Then do it well!
2. Start with choices, alternatives, and LITTLE freedoms.
3. When interrupting their work or discussions, do it with respect.  Preferably with ways agreed upon together beforehand, and gently stating WHY first, then explain whatever you need to.
4. State expectations clearly.
5. Give models for better understanding.
6. Give examples of evaluation grids with clear guidelines.
7. Negotiate alternatives to obtain commitment.
8. Manage the behavior, both yours and theirs!
9. Be genuine, authentic and natural.  Students see right through you!

When Teachers or School Boards hire me to give a workshop on Classroom and Behavior Management, it is a pleasure for me to share my documents and to ease the way, so that the Teachers may create their own.   It is so very important to have TRANSPARENCY when you teach. 

I put my 30 years of experience in this field at your disposition and offer support and follow-up by email as well as by phone.

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally

Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach

http://guidancequest.com

info@guidancequest.com

For details on my books:

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/infoatguidancequestdotcom

Comment on my Blog:

http://guidancequestcom-eliprofesseure.blogspot.com/

FIVE Steps to Learning!

SPECIAL FOR TEACHERS ONLY

What do students need to know to want to learn?

1. First, they need to know WHY?

2. Then, WHAT it will give them.  In order words, HOW will it BENEFIT them?
3. This is usually related to careers, jobs, MONEY, GRADES.

4. Followed by, WHAT TIME INVESTMENT they will need, so HOW LONG will it take?

5. Ultimately, will they ever use it again, so WHEN will it be useful?

Your greatest success will come in presenting everything as an OPPORTUNITY!

Should you have the drive to have a fulfilling career in Teaching, then brace yourself!  You will need to reflect on the above question in order to present any content with creativity and spice.  The more you can link it to their present life NOW, the better they will learn.  BASICALLY, you need to inject the curiosity, trigger the motivation by depicting a palpable reality that will be attractive enough to promote good will and determination.

When you succeed, THEY will glow with Pride and so will YOU!

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally

Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach

http://guidancequest.com/

info@guidancequest.com

For details on my books:

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/infoatguidancequestdotcom

Comment on my Blog:

http://guidancequestcom-eliprofesseure.blogspot.com/

10 WAYS TO TURN YOUR CLASSROOM INTO A PLAYGROUND

FOR TEACHERS ONLY

1.    PERSEVERANCE:  Happily coax students to stick to it to the end.  They need to be encouraged.

2.    CONSISTENCY:  Be consequential.  Walk your talk!

3.    PATIENCE:  Respect the learning rhythm whether it is fast or slow.   Have flexibility needed for this to happen.  Allow a choice of constructive items to do while others complete the task at hand.

4.    CREATIVITY:  Let novelty be derived from their creativity and suggestions.

5.    DECISION MAKING:  Present what needs to be learnt in a global manner and let them decide on the ways to do that.  Your opinion counts as well.  Present your options for learning tasks as well.  Present the resources and media available.  What they decide upon, they must commit to pursue until the learning is completed.

6.    BE POSITIVE, HAPPY AND ENTHUSIASTIC with the individuals in your classes. 

7.    HOPE:  Remember <Miracles happen everyday>.   Just provide the environment and resources to facilitate this.

8.    MOTIVATION:  Set the stage for motivation to take place and let passion trigger it!

9.    RESILIENCE:  Explain, explain, and explain what Solidarity, Respect, Compassion and Commitment mean.

10.

LEADERSHIP:  Let your Leadership be firm, open and kind.           Yet assert yourself as the leader in subtle ways.

HAPPY TRAILS!

Have a great summer!

Dear Readers,
September will bring a new series of articles.  Have a great summer!
Elizabeth McNally, Mentor
Licensed Certified EI Coach
Compassion Fatigue Recovery Specialist
http://guidancequest.com/

SUCCESS Its demeanor

Success appears when resilience is present whether it be in life or career transitions, in struggles or problem solving, or even in life’s moments of despair.

Your goals are seldom reached in one easy stride.  Life rarely serves Success on a golden platter.  You will need to seek it relentlessly.

It is your capacity to set objectives with determination and pursue these with all the courage and perseverance you can muster that brings Success your way.

As you reap the fruits of your labor, you will often realize that its sweetness will be enhanced by the struggles you overcame.  Conquest has been humanity’s goal through history!  Success is a Conquest!

So, be glad for the opportunities to use and show your skills as you face challenges and manage to be victorious through the difficulties encountered.

Your ultimate trophy will be the knowledge that you have acquired.

As you are molded and sometimes, scalded by events, remember that no matter the outcome, there will be a form of Success.  At times, it will be bitter-sweet.  Yet, Success it will be, in the sense that, you have gained in experience and knowledge which will, in turn, smooth future endeavors, and more than likely, bring you outstanding successes as your competencies strengthen!

Go for it and never give-up!

Have a nice week.  Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally

Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach

http://guidancequest.com

info@guidancequest.com

For details on my book:

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/infoatguidancequestdotcom

Comment on my Blog:

http://guidancequestcom-eliprofesseure.blogspot.com/

Join me on Twitter:

http://guidancequestcom-eliprofesseure.blogspot.com/

DOUBT & FEAR Dealing with sickness, disability, and death

When sickness or disability is temporary, you will react and adapt to the momentary discomfort by seeking medical council and assistance to rehabilitate.

On a short term, most people do not lose their bearing, unless they are worried of it being prolonged.  Our society is set to provide the services for such instances.  Generally, a person will assess and seek the required help.

The problem becomes more tangible and acute from the moment the sickness becomes chronic or the disability becomes long term or permanent.  Other factors pop-up and the necessity to cope may bring on doubt and fear.  If your imagination is lively and vivid, it can also bring you to see the worst in the occurrence.

Doubt will invade your psyche when you don’t know how debilitating this sickness or disability will be.  Having trustworthy, honest council will help you see where you stand.  Once you know the ins and outs of the situation, it becomes a question of organization.  Do not hesitate to seek help to ease your healing process.  You need to monitor your energy and use it for healing; otherwise, you may prolong the time of your recovery.  The outcome of a temporary disability may often depend on your mindset and resilience.

When permanent disability is encountered, you face a totally different challenge.  Two scenarios are more likely to develop, in this case.  The first is that you know clearly what you will be left with and can plan to take concrete action to live with this.  Even though it is hard to face, it becomes manageable as it runs its course.

The second is that you have no idea how debilitating it will be because no one can pinpoint the exact degree of the final disability.   This is overbearing and crushing until facts can be established.  When your cognitive mind processes the information, you will be able to set your path and move forward. 

Both are learning experiences that will require a great deal of devotion in order to change your way of life and adapt.  Support of your family and friends will ease the path.  Nevertheless, it is you, the main actor that has the capacity to turn the challenges encountered into goals to better reach for a fulfilling life again.

A third scenario may loom as well.  The news of being subject to a terminal disease will again paint a different picture.  In this instance, your readiness and acceptance will help your remaining days to become filled with serenity.  When people face a limit in time to live, they will go through different phases before death claims them.  This may start with disbelief and hopefully reach acceptance and peace of mind in the end. 

It is never easy to see someone close go through any of these challenges. Just remember that it is somewhat harder for the person involved.  So do be kind accompanying and bringing support when you can! Especially when facing death, we face our own vulnerable end.  It is particularly unsettling.  When requiring support, do seek it! It’ll make the whole difference!  

SELF-GROWTH People are like rubber bands

The common denominator in Personal Growth, these days, is stretch, stretch, stretch!  Well, here we will look at the stretch factor in details.

As you go through life, crucial events will sometimes have you stretch and snap.  Then, it will take you months, sometimes years to mend and heal.  In some instances, the damage will be so ravaging that the person will never take a chance again, unless he/she take steps to overcome the damage done by breaking the silence and seeking help.

Take the instance of someone being battered to pulp until there is no courage, no spark left.  If the person survives, he/he may become overly cautious, avoiding any possibility of facing this ordeal again, yet sabotaging any possibility of pursuing challenging, explorative projects or relationship by fear of sustaining further injury.  Another will shy away from relationships and intimacy after a brutally hurtful separation.

Life’s experiences may provide positive growth when they are not massively extreme and damageable, otherwise they may well hamper your natural self-growth process leaving you with the bitter experience, as a solid barrier, stopping you from progressing. 

When you have encountered what can be called, the habitual life experiences, with its regular ups and down, your self-growth will progress at a regular pace.  Nevertheless, some trying occurrences will test you regularly.  You will encounter adversity.  We all do.

As we live on, some individuals will feel the pressing need to evolve more rapidly, depending on their character and personality.  They will pursue acquisition knowledge acquisition arduously, contemplate, choose a variety of reading to extend their cultural exposure, deepen personal interests, widen their critical skills by reflecting on present and past controversial issues, seek out visionary authors to challenge their wit and spirit.  These will demark themselves.  They will stretch the band to its maximum sooner, taking the time to integrate their newly acquired knowledge and experience.

Others will respond to shocking event with savage pursuits, challenging life’s every situation.  Some of these may not survive it.  In those that do, their extreme life style may be shortened or hampered by some harsh incident.

Most will have more intense experience in their youth, followed by moments of calm routine as a family is started and grows.  Some engage in self-growth at a more mature age when the emptiness of the nest presents a void that needs to be filled.

The important thing is to remember that you are like a rubber band!  Respect yourself, pursue what you wish, how you wish, and seek help when needed.  In this way, you will enrich your inner self and live a fulfilling life!

Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally, Mentor
Licensed Certified EI Coach
Compassion Fatigue Specialist
http://guidancequest.com

PUNCTUALITY An act of precision

Have you ever had a friend or colleague that is systematically late?  Have you felt the irritation of waiting?  Have you wondered if it is was a form of disrespect?

If you’re the one that’s always late, you might even think as you are reading this:  < Come on! People know that I’m like that!  Big deal!  No offense meant, here!>

Well, think of it a minute.  If you can’t be precise enough to tell time when clocks and watches exists are up and running all the time, how can anyone be sure that this lack of consideration and precision will not be transferred to all you do.

How can anyone be sure that you’ll follow instructions carefully, with precision and accuracy?  How can anyone depend on you?  There is a good chance that opportunities will bypass you and that you’ll wonder why!

In business, orders need to be sent on time, meetings attended ON TIME, tasks done according to a certain schedule.  People lacking punctuality will be put aside when positions requiring a strong sense of responsibility are posted.

It is a shame to see intelligent, competent individuals set aside because they can’t seem to tell time!  When promotion time comes, they are generally dismissed.  The annoyance of constantly wondering when they’ll show up generally overthrows their worthiness, especially in presence of a punctual competition of the same caliber.

As an employer or supervisor, you may wish to bring your employees to see the importance of punctuality.  Some may resort to docking pay as a punch indicates the precise time.  Others, in offices or retail sales, need to address this problem differently. 

Systematic evaluations will bring out the issue.  Then, persuading the individual to arrive on time and be ready to work, on the floor may be more difficult.  Having numerous examples to address the disadvantages of diminished time available, the impact that it has on the personnel who is burdened by your absence and the poor reflection it has on the staff when there is chronic disrespect of punctuality.

Having spontaneous recognition for those who are on time and perform well will enhance their steadfast performance and enforce a sound model for others to follow. 

 Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally, Mentor

Licensed Certified EI Coach

http://guidancequest.com/

ANGER Managing its outburst!

Once I was walking outside on a beautiful sunny day, I had stopped to chat with my horses and was walking towards the open field, when my dog came charging joyfully.  It felt precisely like a locomotive ramming into my legs at full speed, sending me flying up in the air. 

Landing on my back, banging my head, I screamed <You stupid, stupid, stupid dog>, as the pain shot through my back and stars swirled around my head.

Puppy, realizing he had gotten me stirred-up, came to nuzzle my face.  I was in no mood for his cajoling!  I would have vaporized him on that very moment!  Feeling it, I guess, he circled me quietly, his big yellow eyes full of worry.

As the pain eased, I saw the blue sky with small, white, fluffy clouds.  The sun was shining brightly! 

Flashbacks of Puppy’s arrival made me ponder.  A few years ago, he had been abandoned near my home.  My sleigh dogs, residue from my Northern endeavors, had attracted him, I guess.  A good 90 pound husky, he blended in perfectly.  After trying to track down his provenance without success, we adopted him.  Through the years, no one had ever claimed him.  He now had outlived all the others.  Still at his full strength and beauty, he guarded the house well.

He must have been a sleigh dog because the only thing he knew how to do was to pull.  Not particularly swift, it had taken him 2 years to learn how to sit when told.  Yes, he is a little dense!  Nevertheless, in his eyes, you can see that he really wants to please you and listens attentively, especially if you have a treat in your hands.  If screamed at, he cowards down pitifully but as soon as the threat has passed, he runs and jumps joyfully again!  There isn’t a mean bone in his body!

As I still lay in the field, I realized that the pain was gone along with the momentary anger.  Moving limb after limb, I also became aware that no harm was done per se.

Puppy now lay beside me, his big yellow eyes full of love and wonder.  I held out a hand and spoke to him gently, explaining how dangerous this could have been.  He listened then came to nuzzle me again.  Forgiven?  Yes, he was.  He was around 7 years old then.  Now, at the age of 11 or so, he is calm when I walk with him and stays respectfully away from my legs.

Well, on that moment, I came to believe that it was better to reflect on the good memories, and then to ponder, before responding to whom or to what provoked the spontaneous anger.   

So here’s my little remedy:

Step 1                        Assess the situation.

Step 2                        Find positive thoughts or memories to calm your ire.

Step 3             Have an inner-dialogue to see advantages and disadvantages at showing your fury at this very moment.

Step 4             Respond calmly, putting off any discussion to later.

Step 5             Establish counter-measures to avoid this from happening again.

My counter-measure was to NEVER call Puppy when he was at more than 15 feet without having my eyes on him to see if his trajectory was in alignment to intercept my stride and tackle me!

Take the time to identify your appropriate counter-measure and keep it handy so that you may resort to it anytime when it’s needed.

Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally, Mentor

LICENSED CERTIFIED EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COACH

http://guidancequest.com/

Sign up for my eclass, ebook excerpts and ezine

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JUST SHARING Complete Collection 2010

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Spring BONUS Wellness Coaching for Kayakers

 

PROGRAM:

<So affordable you can’t miss out !  Call now ! >

            Kayakers

            Spring Special  BONUS pre-season training

Wellness Coaching thru a sport  (description below)

The benefits of  this program:

Gearing into the zone slowly with your trainer. 

Getting those rusty muscles back in shape for a better seasonal performance..

Meeting kayaking buddies.

Sharing moments of pure joy with passionate paddlers.

Kayakers

      Spring Special  pre-season training

Feel alive! Feel the magical touch of joy!

      Spring is here!

Plus, it’s a total body make-over!

Your abs perks up, your arms become lean, cut and muscular, your energy level shoots-up, and you get all giddy just having the paddle back in your hands. In  the end, you feel confident and energetic for the new season!

PROGRAM description:

What you get on the phone or in person:

Dynamic Wellness Coaching Pep talks!

Tips on gear, safety habits, weather monitoring

Follow-up on progress

Tips on energy foods and nutrition

PROGRAM details per week:

Once:       Saturdays 2 hours  departure: 9 a.m.

Twice:      Monday and Wednesday  (1 hour each)

Twice:      Monday and Friday (1 hour each)

Twice:      Wednesday and Friday (1 hour each)

Any combination of the above days  to fill your 8 hour block.  Evenings  departure 6:00 p.m.

Early Bird or Intensive: 

Complete the program in 2 weeks instead of four.

Mondays , Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays

(Perk:  a two hour outing on the second Saturday.)

Which of  these programs fits me?

Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally, Mentor

LICENSED CERTIFIED EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COACH

http://guidancequest.com/

Sign up for my eclass, ebook excerpts and ezine

http://guidancequest.com/freeezineeclass.htm

Get more details on our eBook

JUST SHARING Complete Collection 2010

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/infoatguidancequestdotcom

VISIT our Expert Page

http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/elizabeth_mcnally

Follow us on Linked in

http://www.linkedin.com/search/fpsearch?type=people&keywords=Eliprofesseure&pplSearchOrigin=GLHD&pageKey=member-home

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HEALTH Relaxation and its benefits

As promised, here is your sequel to <A Wellness Blitz>.

You’re a go-getter.  You’re constantly striving to reach your goals.  You’re a determined achiever and feel pride and joy at performing well.  You confidently move through difficult challenges with passion.

Burnouts happen to the best of us.  Just take a moment for a quick reality check.

Are you eating and sleeping well?  Do you take the time to exercise regularly?  Do you have quiet time just to yourself?

We’ll keep this one short.  With your busy schedule, I’m just glad you take the time to read me and thank you for doing so.

Here are some benefits provided by relaxation.  Your body regenerates.  Your energy rises.  Your mind feels clearer.  Stress and worry diminish or vanish when done on a regular basis.  Naturally, in order to have the full benefit, you need to include moments of pure relaxation in your busy schedule.

Some people take power naps of a few minutes; others will break the rhythm of a hectic day by walking outside, breathing deeply or listening to favorite music.

The idea is to empty your mind and relax your body for a moment.  Once you take the habit of doing this, you will see it followed by a heightened capacity for concentration. 

We are rechargeable batteries and it is important to take this into consideration.

No matter how intensely you live, if you take the time to refill, you will overcome practically any level of stress. 

You may wish to look into different ways of emptying your mind, slowing your breath and heart for a better resting period.  It’s a recognized manner of nurturing yourself.  For complete a <mind, body, heart and spirit> staying on track overview, feel free to sign up for our eClass at http://guidancequest.com/freeezineeclass.htm

It’s free and it’s easily inserted into your busy schedule.