Is it not strange to see someone with all the skills in the world fail miserably? Will that not make you question yourself as well? Won’t your inner voice scream < if that person can’t make it, how can I?>
Well, let’s take a closer look.
Has this person planned the endeavors pursued? Did this fine individual envision all aspects before diving into its pursuit? Were all aspects researched thoroughly? Was the knowledge and expertise needed to achieve the goal acquired? Had the individual considered his/her present condition (state of income, time, availability…) before pursuing this new endeavor? Or was this a distraction from some unfinished business or forsaken responsibilities?
Here is an example of our < self-destructive Repeater>.
Stan and Jenny, our self-destructive profiled repeaters, will tire of their present project. Even though overwhelmed in the time department, they will start-up a new project, naming clearly all that needs to be done and having all the future advantages briskly listed in a flash. They may even start-up a new project every time they become stressed, completely obliterating the reason for this stress from their mind. Whether it is time, money or lack of knowledge, it bears little influence in their decision making. They may even curse the world for its injustice on a regular basis. After all, they work really, really hard, all the time!
Our repeaters will soon become chronic cases of LACK OF TIME, MONEY or CREDIBILITY. Surprisingly, even that may not be enough to change their behavior. Being addicted to the rush of novelty and additional stress, the spur will eventually be short lived. Then, when the dreary reality strikes, these persons may become border line depressive, feeling a strong sense of failure haunting them until their next fix. Their self-esteem will be shaken when times get rough. The impulse to add yet another challenge will continue to increase that stress, soon damaging their health as well.
This cycle is extremely difficult to break as the enslaving issues of time and money generally involve all the elements which haunt our case figures so readily at night. Lack of sleep, so detrimental to health, soon adds additional pressure, affecting their well being by destabilizing their daily biological clock. Their decision making may become clouded and they may well start alienating the people around them. People will come to see through them and some may literally give up on them.
This can to be avoided. When you see someone become a REPEATER, be kind and try to bring him/her to assess the situation as a reality check is seriously in order!
If you are concerned personally and don’t realize it, here are some signs you may look for:
People will respond to your plea with <Again! Weren’t you in this situation, last year?> or <Don’t you have enough on your plate?> or <Aren’t you in the mist of a project now?> or < Your Bank Manager must really be having a field day with your constant shuffling!> or <You must be on the verge of bankruptcy, cause week after week you seem to be short and yet, you just keep starting up new things.> or < When will you get a grip on reality?>
If someone you know is well, that person may see the worse ahead of them. They may interpret what happens to them as a sign of being doomed. They may see the worst ahead so they just move on to the next exciting thing, plopping the previous even before it gets a chance to take off.
Some people take more time than others to see the point. Others still never do. The saddest part is that these individuals are, more often than not, of superior intelligence and dynamism. They are also charismatic, well spoken and extremely persuasive. Later in life, the continual stream of failures will often render them bitter and envious of those succeeding around them. They may even get to the point that they are blind to their own successes because of the impending failure in one domain.
In order to break away from this infernal cycle, simple steps can be taken.
Let’s look at the pursuit of success in a structured, calculated way and work at being realistically optimistic.
Jack and Sarah, our calculated-risk profiled individuals, will have succeeded after tremendous efforts at becoming proficient in a certain domain. Their expertise will be valued and respected. They will have been realistically optimistic when they started their project. How so? Well, they will have analyzed that their goal was attainable after evaluating all aspects concerned, considering a margin for the unexpected.
When facing adversity, they see it as a bump on the road, no more, no less and just move forward.
It means also the possibility of surpassing themselves in a well planned reachable endeavor. It means adjusting the goals within the limit of the possible while still reaching beyond, after accessing all elements required to successfully reach the said goal. It means compromising or finding new ways to achieve, maybe even cutting on elements that are definite obstacles to success.
This does not mean whimping-out. It means taking the time to surmount obstacles. These may even be seen as opportunities to become better, more competent, more knowledgeable which will enhance the expertise in the end. It definitely means pursuing until the goal is reached.
Success comes naturally to those who are prepared. Self-confidence, also known as Personal Power, rises with each successful endeavor.
A keen assessment coupled with problem solving skills will permit to overcome practically anything encountered. It is well worth the planning, research, knowledge acquisition and thorough analysis.
Make success yours. Let your realistic optimism carve a smile on your face as you proceed towards your goal. If you’ve done your homework well and have considered all aspect, the unexpected will seem a mere annoyance, easy to overcome. Your optimism will be truly charismatic and success will be more likely yours!
Have a nice week. Happy Trails,
Elizabeth McNally
Mentor & Licensed Certified EI Coach
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